Making Gintama fanfic is a pain in the ass!
by absoluteaoki
Summary: I'm no good at summaries. Pure crack from our dear Yorozoya Trio and their friends. Just do it! Chapter 4 is up.
1. KINTAMA

Rated T for the #%$#^# words.

Okay, first of all, I have tons of things to say. So, minna, here it is.

**THE AUTHORS' RAMBLING.**

**NOTE: READ IT IN A VERY FAST WAY. **

This is my first time writing a fanfic of Gintama and it took me a month to make a single chapter of it. It was really #$#%$ because I have to make it funny because its Gintama and for the readers to love it. I got tons of chocolate and parfait intake and have to watch Gintama from episode 1 up to the latest episode of Gintama (I think its 247…? Ahhhhh! #$%$# CAN'T REMEMBER THE NUMBER!) and started laughing at their stupidity (EVEN FELL OFF THE CHAIR OR ACCIDENTALY PUKE AND SPILLED MY TEA IN MY CAKE MAKING IT A DARK MATTER) while my dad and big sis looking at me, thinking I'm some sort of a lunatic freak who came from outer space to destroy earth. I also read Gintama manga while listening to Otsuu Terakado songs (instead of singing "my father is a chome chome, I sang "MY FANFIC IS A !#$#%! TAKE A DUMP NECROMANCER!) and suddenly Hasegawa-san's song "THE GOD OF CARDBOARD", if the title is correct, started playing and my motivation dropped from 1000 to zero and I did planking on the floor like a Maru de dame na ONNA (because I'm a girl), in short MADAO….. ahhhhh… demmet, I'm tired. My motivation circuit was totally damage but I gained 21pts EXP for Laziness. Okay, enough with it and let's start with the fanfic because I'm tired of rambling.

**P.S. **Hope you will like this fanfic.

**P.S.S.** I DON'T OWN GINTAMA (and will never own this series). SORACHI HIDEAKI SAMA OWNS GINTAMA (and he's my idol mangaka). I ALSO DON'T OWN THE OTHER ANIME AND CHARACTERS MENTIONED IN THIS STORY.

**P.S.S.S.** BEWARE OF THE CHARACTERS BECAUSE **THEY SPIT**!

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER ONE<strong>

_**KINTAMA**_

**At the Yorozoya Gin-chan.**

**Narrator:** The Land of the samurai. It's been a while since this country was last called….

**(Gintoki kicks Hasegawa the narrator at the face)**

**Gintoki:** SHUT UP! Why are we having that kind of intro AGAIN! Why are you the NARRATOR? WHY IS THE CHAPTER TITLE "KINTAMA"? WHY IS THE MAIN TITLE SOO FRIGGIN LONG? WHY ARE OUR DIALOGUE 'S LIKE A SCRIPT FOR SEIYUU? WHY DOES THIS CHAPTER HAVE TO START WITH THE AUTHOR'S RAMBLING SHIT? WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO WRITE EVERY SINGLE DETAIL OF HER STRUGGLE TO WRITE THIS FANFIC? WHY IS IT SO LONG? WHY….

**Shinpachi:** SHUT UP, YOU~ WHY~ IDIOT!

**Madao:** It can't be helped. The author decided all of it, since it's a fanfic of Gin…. Ahh! Cho-chotto matte! Why is my script name MADAO! It's just a fanfic, right? Please change it author-san. Hidoi yo!

**Kagura:** Madao is madao. Even the author can't change it. **(eating sukonbu)** like Shinpachi is his glasses. He's nothing but a pair of glasses!

**Glasses:** OI! YOU REALLY LIKE INSULTING ME AND MY GLASSES, DON'T YOU! AND WHY IS MY NAME GLASSES? YOU ALREADY PUT SHINPACHI ON MY FIRST DIALOGUE A WHILE AGO! DON'T DO CHANGING OTHER PEOPLES NAME, AUTHOR-SAN! CHANGE IT BACK TO SHINPACHI! OR ELSE I'LL KILL YOU!

**Gintoki:** aaaaa…. Shut up… It's still so early to start shouting. You're making my head hurt more, you know. I have a worst hangover last night!

**MADAO:** Gin-san, it's already 10 am. It's not early anymore. AND WHY AREN'T YOU CHANGING IT YET, AUTHOR-SAN! AND YOU EVEN MADE IT ALL CAPS!

**Gintoki:** Hasegawa-san, 10 am is still early for someone who had a hangover… ahhh.. I need strawberry milk. I need calcium.

**Shin… Glasses:** OI! WHAT KIND OF JOKE IS THIS AUTHOR-SAN?

**Kagura:** Shinglasses, go buy some tissue paper!

**Shin… Glasses:** WHAT KIND OF HALF-ASSED NAME IS THAT? AND GO BUY TISSUE PAPER YOURSELF!

**Kagura:** No way! And besides, that's one of the few things that you can do aside from being a curve-straight man!

**Shin… Glasses**: Wha-what's a curve-straight man?

**Kagura:** Cause sometimes you're a straight man, and sometimes you're not.

**Shin… Glasses:** I don't get it.

**(the doorbell rang)**

**Kagura/Gintoki:** NO ONE'S HOME!

**Shin… Glasses**: OI! It's so obvious that we're here.

**Catherine:** Idiot Sakata-san! I'm here to collect the rent! I know you're inside! Open the door right now!

**Gintoki:** I DON'T HAVE MONEY! GO AWAY!

**Catherine:** If you don't have money, then YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD GO AWAY!

**(Madao opened the door)**

**Madao:** Yo! Good morning Catherine!

**Catherine: **What's good in the morning? Madao.

**(Madao became depress and is sulking at the corner)**

**Madao:** Everyone's so mean to me. I think I should hang myself.

**Catherine:** The payment!

**Gintoki:** I told you I don't have money!

**Catherine:** Then say goodbye to this T.V.

**(Gintoki hugs the T.V. VERY TIGHTLY)**

**Gintoki:** No way! I need this one you stupid thief! I need to watch Ketsuno Ana everyday! I can't live without this T.V. I can't live without Ketsuno Ana!

**Catherine:** Then PAY THE GODDAMN RENT!

**(Otose enters the room)**

**Otose:** Stop it, Catherine. I don't need that old T.V.

**Gintoki:** What are you talking about, old hag! YOU'RE WAY OLDER THAN THIS T.V.!

**Otose:** What did you say you penniless perm?

**Gintoki:** Do you know how hard it is to earn money? huh? You can't always get coins under the vending machine!

**Otose:** THEN FIND A BETTER JOB!

**(Katsura and Elizabeth enters the scene from the window)**

**Katsura:** What's with this ruckus, Gin….

**(Gintoki kicks Zura at the face)**

**Katsura:** Zura janai, Katsura da!

**Shinpachi:** Katsura-san! **(pause)** USE THE FRIGGIN DOOR!

**Gintoki:** Hoi Zura! What are you doing here, huh?

**Katsura:** I was chased by the Shinsengumi and ended up in here.

**Gintoki:** Hoi hoi! I don't want to be involved with you, dummy!

**Katsura:** Dummy janai, Katsura da!

**Gintoki:** Don't hide in my place! GO AWAY!

**Katsura:** I know you would say that. Don't worry, I'll pay you.

**Gintoki:** HUH! Do you think you can use money to convince me? HOW MUCH?

**Shinpachi:** This man is rotten!

**(Katsura pulled something from his Kimono)**

**Katsura: (" talks in Doraemon style" )** DANDARANDAN…. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THIS?

**(He's holding a melted parfait)**

**Gintoki: ( kicks ZURA… errhm… Katsura in the face again) **IDIOT! WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME A MELTED PARFAIT? SAY SORRY TO THIS MELTED PARFAIT! YOU'RE REALLY AN IDIOT, AREN'T YOU?

**Katsura:** Idiot janai, Katsura da! And it's not melted! You see, that's my underarm sweat. I've been hiding it in there a while ago.

**Gintoki:** YOU IDIOT! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? HIDING THAT POOR PARFAIT IN ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS ACID PROVIDER PART OF YOUR BODY! YOU REALLY ARE DISGUSTING. JUST DIE AND GO TO HELL, WILL YOU!

**Katsura:** I'M NOT DISGUSTING! I'M KATSURA!

**Elizabeth: (with his dialogue machine a.k.a. signboard) **Stop that already! Lower your voices or else, the Shinsengumi will find us!

**Shinpachi:** Elizabeth-san is right! I can't afford to be thrown to jail because of you people. My sister will kill me if that happens!

**Kagura:** Don't worry Shinpachi. We'll pray for your soul!

**Shinpachi:** OI!

**Otose:** Gintoki, if you won't pay within this week, then I'll make you sleep in a cardboard box! Get it? Let's go Catherine!

**Catherine: **Adieu! Poor Beings!

**Kagura:** Shut up, thief!

**(The old hags exits the room)**

**Katsura:** I'll be going then. Let's go Elizabeth!

**(They went inside….. the cabinet)**

**Shinpachi:** OI, USE THE DOOR!

**Gintoki:** OI! I THOUGHT YOU'RE GOING OUT ALREADY! DORAEMON WANNABE! WHY YOU….

**(Gintoki and Kagura opened the cabinet and found Zura and Elizabeth in there)**

**Katsura: **Wait. It seems that we're still in Gintoki's place, Elizabeth. I thought we have been transported into our hideout already. In Pandora Hurts **(it's "Hearts", Zura)**, I always use this technique for trans…

**(Gintoki throws them off the window)**

**Gintoki: **YoU'RE NOT XERXES BREAK RIGHT NOW!

**(FYI: To those who didn't know, Zura and Break has the same seiyuu/voice actor)**

**Kagura:** So, he's that Xerxes Break from Panthera heats **(IT'S "PANDORA HEARTS", DAMN IT)**. The one they call Mad Hatter. Also known as Ghostly…

**Shinpachi:** OI! STOP TALKING ABOUT CHARACTERS FROM OTHER ANIME! OR ELSE THEY'LL SUE US!

**Gintoki:** What are you talking about, Pattsuan?

**Kagura:** We always talk about other anime in Gintama series! So we can also do that in this fanfic. This is how Gintama works. You really are a clueless cherryboy, Shinpachi. That's why your name is Shinpachi and that's why your character looks like Nobita. You're both clueless straight man wannabe!

**Shinpachi:** SHUT UP!

**Gintoki:** Geez, Shinpachi. You really like nitpicking, aren't you? You always complain about anything! What are you, a nagging mom?

**Shinpachi:** That's what a straight man character like me does! Criticizing other people's stupidity!

**Kagura:** That's why straight man characters are boring, killjoy, clueless

**Gintoki:** VIRGIN.

**Shinpachi:** OI! Not all straight man are Virgin! Just wait, you bunch of idiots. I'll definitely have a girlfriend this year!

**Kagura/Gintoki:** IN YOUR DREAMS! OTAKU VIRGIN!

**Shinpachi:** OI! WHOSE OTAKU VIRGIN?

**(The door was destroyed and a bunch of virgins came in)**

**Hijikata: (shouts)** IT'S SHINSENGUMI!

**Gintoki:** ah! Speaking of otaku virgin.

**Hijikata: **Whose otaku virgin, huh? You wanna go to hell?

**Gintoki:** Heh, before I go to hell, PAY FOR MY GODDAMN DOOR!

**Kagura:** Our door's been destroyed again! PAY FOR IT YOU ASSHOLE!

**Hijikata:** Oi, is Katsura Kotarou in here? Answer me or else, I'll send you straight to hell!

**Shinpachi:** NONONONONO! Please spare us! Katsura-san isn't here! **(though he is a while ago)**

**Kagura: (imitating Shinpachi)** NONONONONO! Please spare ME! Zura isn't here! You can do anything with these two good for nothing idiots!

**( Gintoki pokes her on the head )**

**Gintoki: **Zura isn't here. Go away and die!

**Kondou:** Are you sure he's not here? We were informed that he was in here, hiding.

**Shinpachi:** We're sure that he's not here! **(cause he already left)**

**Kagura: **Gorilla, you're working now!

**Kondou:** I'm always working! I'm a hard worker, you see.

**Gintoki:** And a HARD-STALKER TOO.

**Kondou:** I'm not a stalker! You people misunderstood it. I'm Otae's personal bodyguard! I'm protecting her from stalkers!

**Okita:** Like yourself?

**Gintoki:** Huh? PERSONAL BODYGUARD? What a pervert you are!

**Shinpachi:** What you said is a description of a stalker.

**Kondou:** What's perverted in being a bodyguard?

**Gintoki:** Cause you said you are a PERSONAL-"BODY"-GUARD. You're just guarding her flat-chest body!

**Kondou:** Oi! DON'T INSULT OTAE-SAN'S BODY! I HAVE ACCEPTED THE FACT THAT OTAE'S BODY IS THE SAME AS MICHEELS JECKSONS BODY!

**Shinpachi:** And you just insulted her right now!

**Okita:** By the way, Danna. I heard you were made an accomplice by the Mimawarigumi captain Sasaki Isaburo san. And you were in good terms with him, unlike with this shit-eating vice commander of ours.

**Hijikata:** OI! Whose this shit-eating vice commander, huh?

**Gintoki: **Give me a break. That cellphone addict did nothing aside from sending nonsense message every second!

**Kagura:** Huh? Gin-chan! You have a cellphone? IT'S UNFAIR! I WANT TO HAVE A CELLPHONE, TOO! GIVE ME YOUR PHONE, YOU PERMANENT PERM! **(pulling Gintoki's hair)**

**Gintoki: **THEN FIND ONE IN SADAHARU'S SHIT!

**Okita: (boasting)** Ahhh… what a beautiful cellphone do I have here! The brand is Rukia 23 Galaxies.

**Shinpachi:** I think I've heard those brands before.

**Okita:** It has X-ray scanner. It also has an ultra-mega video cam. If you activate it, you can see the tiniest things, even the thing inside the thing.

**Shinpachi:** What do you mean by "the thing inside the thing"?

**Okita:** For example, girl's underwear.

**Gintoki:** Really? Even Shizuka-chan's underwear?

**Okita:** Not only that, even the thing inside Shizuka-chan's underwear.

**Gintoki:** Ooooohh… What a useful phone you have there!

**Shinpachi:** Useful for perversion!

**Gintoki:** I need to buy one of it!

**Shinpachi:** Gin-san, We don't have money for that.

**Kagura:** Hmmmp! That cell phone is useless. It doesn't have a rocket ship in it! How useless!

**Shinpachi:** That's impossible! You Imbecile!

**Gintoki:** That's right, it's impossible as having our fifth movie this year!

**Shinpachi:** OI! DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT IN THIS FANFIC! And besides, it's not fifth! It's second!

**Okita:** By the way, Danna. Have you seen your pictures in the internet?

**Gintoki:** Pictures? What pictures?

**Okita:** Pictures of you and Hijikata-san. In other words, YAOI!

**Hijikata:** OI! DON'T MAKE SUCH LIES!

**Okita:** I'm not lying Hijikata-san. **(shows the pictures to Hijikata through laptop)** What kind of vice commander are you? You're a disgrace to Shinsengumi! Go quit from being vice commander!

**Hijikata:** WHO THE **(super censored)** posted this on giggle!

**Gintoki:** Gross…. **(vomits)**

**Kagura:**Well, many fans like these pictures. Look, it has 1 million three hundred twenty-three point 85 likes on Fakebooks!

**Shinpachi:** And it's the number one twig on twigtter!

**Okita:** **(Pats Hijikata and Gintoki's shoulder)** How unfortunate! But thanks to both of you, I have so many subscribers, friends and followers now!

**Hijikata/Gintoki:** YOU'RE THE ONE WHO POSTED IT!

**(points their sword and bokuto on Okita)**

**Hikikata/Gintoki: **DIE, OKITA!

Okita: **(release his bazooka)** AFTER YOU!

**Shinpachi:** HOI! NO VIOLENT SCENES IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!

**Kondou:** StOP IT! Don't make Shinsengumi's image drop up to absolute zero!

**Kagura:** What are you talking about, Gorilla? You yourself makes Shinsengumi's image drop up to absolute negative zero!

**Shinpachi:** There's no such thing as " absolute negative zero"!

**Kagura:** Then it's "NEGATIVE ABSOLUTE ZERO!"

**Shinpachi:** You just rearranged the words, dummy!

**Hijikata:** It seems that Katsura isn't here. Let's go!

**Kondou:** Brother-in-law, send my regards to Otae-san! Jaa!

**Shinpachi:** WHO YOU CALLING BROTHER-IN-LAW, HUH? AND I'M NOT A MESSENGER! TELL HER THAT YOURSELF!

**(Shinsengumi exits the place)**

**Gintoki:** At last! It's peaceful!

**Shinpachi:** Sou desu ne. We awfully have a lot of visitors this morning.

**Kagura: **First, it was Madao, then thief cat and space monster **(a.k.a. Otose),** then Runaway Bride **(a.k.a. Zura)**, then the Seppuku gang **(a.k.a. Shinsengumi)**

**Shinpachi: **Whose Seppuku gang?

**Gintoki:** They keep on visiting us all the time. Who do they think we are, Park owners!

**Shinpachi:** Gin-san, what's the relation of them visiting and being park owners? Besides, it just means that we've made lots of friends. Aren't we lucky people?

**Gintoki: (Harvesting… errhhm… nosepicking)** Ahhh…

**Kagura:** Ah! Ladies Four is going to start!

**Shinpachi:** DON'T LIE! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT LADIES FOUR STARTS AT 4PM. AND IT'S STILL 11:30 AM! Right, Gin-san?

**(Gin-san snores loudly)**

**Shinpachi: (twitch)** Right, readers-san?

**(Readers-san continues on reading this without replying to Shinpachi)**

**Shinpachi: (more twitch)** Right, Author-san?

**(Author-san continues on encoding this story and ignores Shinpachi)**

**Shinpachi: (mad)** FINE! WHATEVER! IGNORE ME FOREVER!

**Author-san:** Yosh! Kintama chapter is signing off!

* * *

><p><strong>P.S. CORNER<strong>

**Gintoki:** P.S. CORNER DESU!

**Shinpachi:** What's P.S. corner? Isn't it supposed to be "omake"?

**Gintoki:** Omake is widely used. So let's call it P.S. corner!

**Shinpachi: **But why P.S.?

**Kagura:** P.S.? What's P.S.? Personal Somputer?

**Shinpachi:** IT'S COMPUTER! AND IT'S NOT P.C.!

**Gintoki: **Kagura, you're already 14 years old, and you still don't know what's P.S.? Geez, It's Personal…. **(thinking)**…. S.

**Shinpachi:** YOU DON'T KNOW EITHER!

**Kagura:** Then it's Personal Shit!

**Shinpachi:** OI! WATCH YOUR WORDS! By the way, What's in the P.S. corner?

…

…

…

**Gintoki:** Okay, everyone! That's it for today's P.S. corner!

**Kagura:** You already spend 40 seconds reading this corner. See you next time!

**Shinpachi:** OI! SO THIS P.S. CORNER IS JUST NONSENSE!

**Kagura:** Everyone who reads this P.S. corner have been fooled!

**Gintoki:** You should have realized that already, since were good in telling lies.

**Kagura: **Author-san even stated on the first part to be aware of the characters because they lie a lot!

**Shinpachi: **IT'S "BECAUSE THEY SPIT!", NOT "LIE"! **(switch mode)** Sore ja, minna. See you next time!

**Gintoki/Kagura:** If there's next time!

**Shinpachi:** OI!

**Author:** Once again, Kintama chapter is signing off!

**(Author faces the Yorozoya Trio)**

**Author: **WHO TOLD YOU TO MAKE P.S. CORNER? HUH? AND DON'T ADD ANY WEIRD CORNERS ANYMORE! I DON'T WANT TO REPEAT MY ONLY DIALOGUE THRICE IN A CHAPTER! GOT THAT?

**(Author faces the readers)**

**Author:** all your comments and suggestions are highly accepted. Until next time. Hontou ni arigatou gozaimashita! **(bows down)**

**-end-**


	2. Plan First Before Going to an Outing

Rated T for the #%$#^# words.

I got bored and started writing again. So here it is. The Second Chapter of this Fanfic.

By the way, I would like to thank **Reader**, **KSKK1412** and **SnowDreamYuki** for your reviews. It really makes me want to write more.

P.S. I don't **OWN GINTAMA** or any of the Anime that will be mentioned in the story.

**CHAPTER TWO**

_PLAN FIRST BEFORE GOING TO AN OUTING_

At Otose's Snack Shop:

**Gintoki:** Oi, Author-san. What Kind of Shitty title is that? Huh? Why is it so long? Huh?

**Shinpachi:** Gin-san. Leave Author-san alone. It must have been very hard for her to think of a title.

**Otose:** Gintoki, pay the (_shouts_) GODDAMN RENT ALREADY!

**Gintoki:** Old hag, I told you (_shouts_) I DON'T HAVE MONEY YET!

**Kagura:** Gin-chan, I'm (_shouts_) HUNGRY ALREADY!

**Shinpachi:** Why in the world are you (_shouts)_ SHOUTING IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR DIALOGUE!?

**Gin/Kagura/Otose:** Because it's (_shouts_) COOL!

**Shinpachi:** WHERE'S COOL IN THAT?

**Otose:** Seriously Gintoki, Pay the rent already. You haven't paid for 3 months now.

**Gintoki:** Old hag, the chapter's title is "_PLAN FIRST BEFORE GOING TO AN OUTING". _Paying the rent is not mentioned in the title. So just wait. Okay?

**Shinpachi:** So the author still needs to mention about the rent in the title before you pay?

**Gintoki:** Ofcourse.

**Otose:** Then let's change the title. TAKE TWO!


	3. Having Debts is so Annoying, So Pay it!

Rated T for the #%$#^# words.

I got bored and started writing again. So here it is. The Second Chapter of this Fanfic.

By the way, I would like to thank** Reader, KSKK1412** and** SnowDreamYuk**i for your reviews. It really makes me want to write more.

P.S. I don't **OWN GINTAMA** or any of the Anime that will be mentioned in the story.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER TWO<strong>

_HAVING DEBTS IS ANNOYING, SO PAY IT IMMEDIATELY_

At Otose's Snack Shop:

**Gintoki:** Oi, Author-san. What Kind of Shitty title is that? Huh? Why is it so long? Huh?

**Shinpachi:** Gin-san. Leave Author-san alo…. OIII! Don't go changing the title! And we are back to the first few dialogues! AND THIS IS CHAPTER 3 ALREADY!

**Otose:** Gintoki, pay the (_shouts_) GODDAMN RENT ALREADY!

**Shinpachi:** STOP! STOP IT!

**Gintoki:** Old hag, I told you (_shouts_) I DON'T HAVE MONEY YET!

**Shinpachi:** WE'RE DONE WITH THESE DIALOGUES A WHILE AGO!

**Kagura:** Gin-chan, I'm (_shouts_) HUNGRY ALREADY!

**Shinpachi:** SHUT UP! STOP IT NOW! YOU JUST WASTED A PAGE OF THIS FANFIC TO CHANGE THE TITLE! ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO SCREW EVERYTHING UP!? DO YOU REALLY WANT THE AUTHOR TO WRITE A LETTER OF APOLOGY TO EVERYONE!? TELL ME?!

**Kagura:** Shinpachi, you're so dramatic. Don't go crying over spilled milk!

**Shinpachi:** THIS IS NOT JUST A SPILLED MILK! IDIOT! YOU JUST SPILLED YOUR GUTS TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN THIS WEBSITE! AAARRRGGGG! WE'LL BE LIKE SPILLED MILK AFTER THIS!

**Gintoki**: Shinpachi, don't go spilling what might happen in the future. Gosh, you're such spoiler.

**Shinpachi:** SHUT UP! I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT FROM SOMEONE LIKE YOU!

**Otose:** Now that the title has change…. YOUR PAYMENT!

_(Gintoki scratches his head while handling a coin to Otose.)_

**Gintoki:** Here….

**Otose:**_ (Puzzled)_ What's this?

**Gintoki:** My payment.

**Otose:** WHAT KIND OF PAYMENT IS THIS!? I NEED YOUR DEBTS FULLY PAID! NOT JUST A SINGLE COIN!

**Gintoki:** Old hag. You just said in the previous chapter that a single coin will do!

**Otose**: I NEVER MENTIONED THAT!

**Catherine:** Otose-san, you should just kick them out of the house. Don't worry, I've already prepared the boxes for you. Here you go.

_(Handed over 3 pieces of matchbox.)_

**Gintoki**: WHAT THE F #$# IS THIS!? WE'RE NOT MATCHSTICKS!

**Shinpachi:** Catherine-san, stop making such joke!

**Catherine:** Actually, It's not a joke. I'm serious.

**Madao:** Yo!

**Shinpachi:** Hasegawa-san!

**Kagura:** Madao has been resurrected!

**Madao**: I DIDN'T DIE!

**Otose:** Hasegawa, Pay your tab already. We don't offer free drinks for slobs.

**Catherine:** This is not a FREE TASTE STALL!

**Madao:** Otose-san, I'll pay you one day. So don't worry.

**Otose:** And when will be that "ONE DAY"?

**Gengai:** Yo, everyone!

**Shinpachi:** Gengai-san!

**Kagura**: Why are you here?

**Gengai:** Actually, I invented something that might interest this Jump addict over there.

_(pointing at Gintoki)_

**Gintoki:** What is it, Old man?

_(Gengai removed something from his bag…. And GUESS what….. It's a handy-dandy notebook!)_

**Gengai:** It's this one… _(Talking about the handy-dandy notebook)_

**All:** eh?

**Gintoki:** Oi… Old man! What kind of joke are you trying to pull!? Huh? I'm not that guy from Blues Clues. I'm not even Light from Deathnote. Do you want me to kill someone? huh? Do you want me to see Ryuk and get nightmares afterwards!

**Gengai:** Don't worry. You're not even handsome to compare yourself with Yagami-kun. So stop that illusion of yours! Though like Deathnote, you need to write something on the pages of this note, but you're not gonna write the names of those who you want to kill. Instead, It's like a travelling machine. You just have to write a certain title of an anime or movie that you would like go to and after writing the name of it… GACCCHINNGGG!

(_Silenceeeeee…)_

….

…..

….

**All**: WHAT'S GACHING! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?

**Gengai:** You'll be transported to that certain anime/movie.

**Gintoki:** WHAT!?

**Shinpachi:** Really? Wow. That's quite an invention you have there, Gengai-san!

**Gintoki:** hmmmmm…. Then let's try it. hahaha. I've been wanting to do this.

**Kagura:** me first!

_(she wrote something on the page.)_

**_CATHERINE, DIE!_**

**Kagura:** Now Thief, DIE!

**Gengai:** I TOLD YA THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD BE USED!

**Gintoki**: Give me that…. I've always wanted to go to this series.

_(wrote something on the page)_

**Gintoki:** Yosh! Let's go to this series. We'll be destroying this anime since they are more popular than us!

**Kagura**: ALRIGHT!

**Shinpachi:** OIII! WHAT'S WITH THAT EVIL PLAN!

_(The Yorozoya Trio was suddenly covered by Gold light and started to vanish)_

**Shinpachi:** WAIT! GENGAI-SAN, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO RETURN TO THIS WORLD?

...

...

...

_(Gengai….. gave a genuine smile_)

**Gengai:** I don't know. You should figure it out yourself! Happy trip!

**Otose/Cath/Madao**: BYE!

**Shinpachi:** HAPPY TRIP MY ASS! SO WE ARE THE GUINEA PIGS AGAIN…WA…

_(And the three idiots vanished together with the Golden light.)_

* * *

><p><strong><em>P.S. CORNER<em>**

_**Author:** Here you go. The new chapters of my Gintama fanfic. (Since I was not able to do this in chapter 2 because of the idiots) Since the Trio are in the middle of their journey, I'll be doing the P.S. CORNER_

_please feel free to Review. And I would like to thank Reader-san for your suggestion.. -bows down- But since I already had that main title, I would apply it on the title's on this fanfics chapter. XD_

_By the way, the fanfic will be change to crossover since some anime will be involved in the trio's stupidity. I think avid fans of Gintama already have a good guess where are they heading off to. (I mean what anime). Please wait for the next update._

_And Happy New Year everyone!:3_

**Madao:** AUTHOR-SAN! WHY IS MY NAME IN MY DIALOGUE MADAO! It's Hasegawa! Please feel free to EDIT IT!

**Author:** AHHHHHH... I'm tired. And Ha...Madao-san, this is P.S. Corner already. And you're supposed to be on standby for the next chapter! OH! I almost forgot! You're not gonna appear in the next chapter. So... ja ne...

**Madao:** WA...WHAT? NOOOOO! I only had few lines in this chapter and in the first chapter and I didn't appear on the 2nd chapter. What's with this discrimination!? nee? nee? oiii!

* * *

><p><em>Signing off<em>


	4. If you have concerns bout what you see

**The Author's Corner.**

Hello. I made another chapter of this story. I just can't help but make another one. Since the year has ended, I just thought of making more of it . I'm also planning on making an omake after this chapter ( A New Year Omake). Fufufufu.

I would like to thank **Dokiprez** for taking the time to write a review for this story. YAY!

Well, let's begin this chapter.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 4<strong>

_If you have concerns about what you're seeing, go address it directly_.

And the war continues…

**(blood splash)**

**(screams)**

**WAAAAAAAAAAA…..!**

**ARRRGGGGGGG….!**

**HOOORRAAAAA…..!**

**GOOOORYAAAAAA…!**

**Gintoki:** HHIIIIYAAAAA!

**Shinpachi:** Oi! WHAT'S WITH THAT OPENING SCENE! NO ONE'S GOING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING! AND WHERE ARE WE, ANYWAY!?

_**(Currently they are in the middle of the battlefield. It seems that that Golden Light brought them to that place. The trio was shocked by what they are seeing. There are lots of dead bodies on the ground and there are groups of people fighting in every direction.)**_

**Gintoki:** Oi! I know this place. I've been here before!

**Shinpachi:** DON'T LIE! Oi, Gin-san, this is a very dangerous place. Let's get out of here! And where's Kagura-chan?

**Gintoki:** Kagura? She's over there.

_**(Pointing at Kagura who's been thrashing, I mean, punching, smashing, kicking and head-butting the ninjas in front her.)**_

**Shinpachi:** OI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?

**Kagura:** I'm joining the battle! I'm going to be the hero of this battlefield!

**Shinpachi:** YOU'RE ATTACKING THE WRONG OPPONENT! YOU'RE GOING TO BECOME THE GREATEST VILLAIN IN THIS SERIES!

**Gintoki:** This scene is… This anime is…

_**(A girl with a short pink hair came near them)**_

**Girl:** Oi! What are you doing here? Who are you?

**Gintoki:** Are you Ha…Haruno S…Sakura?

**Girl:** What are you talking about? I'm Cinderella!

…

…

…

**Gin/Shin:** EHHHH!

**Shinpachi:** CI….CI…CINDERELLA? YOU MEAN THAT POOR CINDERELLA? WHY IS CINDERELLA LOOKS LIKE HARUNO SAKURA? WHY IS CINDERELLA IN THIS BATTLEFIELD? WHY IS SHE COSPLAYING AS A SHINOBI? I DON'T KNOW THIS CINDERELLA!

**Cinderella:** What are you talking about? I've been fighting all my life! I was born and will die in this battlefield as a shinobi!

**Shinpachi:** What a suicidal Cinderella!

**Kagura:** Sugoi! So you were born in this battlefield!

_**(Kagura imagining Cinderella's mom giving birth to her in the BATTLEFIELD)**_

**Kagura:** What a slut! Showing her ******** in front of everyone in this place!

**Gintoki:** Don't tell me you were made in this battlefield! How hardworking your parents are!

_**(Gintoki imagining Cinderella's mom and dad doing *** on the BATTLEFIELD)**_

**Shinpachi:** OI! STOP! STOP THAT!

_**(A boy riding in a big white dog came rushing towards them)**_

**Shinpachi:** Ah! It's Kiba and Akamaru!

**Cinderella:** No! It's Fred and Scooby Doo!

**Shinpachi:** HUH?!

**Fred:** Cinderella, Let's go!

**Cinderella:** AH!

_**(They run towards the setting sun….I mean in the other side of the battlefield wherein the big monster is located.)**_

**Gintoki:** Let's go then!

**Kagura:** Yosh! But we need to wear this!

**Gintoki:** Ah… A head protector,huh? Now I feel like I'm part of this series now!

**Shinpachi:** NO YOU'RE NOT! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE LOTS OF LINES AFTER WE CAME HERE! (sigh) But well, let me have my head protector! Wait! From what village is this? Where did you get it?

**Kagura**: I got it from those people I've beaten up a while ago. It's from the Hidden Village **of Dis*ey Land!**

**Shinpachi**: WHAT KIND OF HIDDEN VILLAGE IS THAT!? YOU CAN'T EVEN CONSIDER IT AS A HIDDEN VILLAGE! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT PLACE!

**Gintoki:** Anyway, Let's go!

_**(And they reach the place where the giant thing is)**_

**Gintoki:** It's the Juubi!

**Cinderella:** It's what our enemies want to create! It's the combination of the 9 tailed monsters. It's the …TINKERBELL!

**Shinpachi:** SO THE STRONGEST MONSTER IN THIS SERIES HAS THE WEIRDEST AND THE LAMEST NAME OF ALL!

**Cinderella:** What should we do now, sensei?

**Sensei:** That's quite a hard question you have there, Cindy.

**Shinpachi:** Kakashi-sensei! It's you!

**Sensei:** It's Santa Claus-sensei, Boy!

**Shinpachi:** EHHHHH!

**Santa Claus:** Kuchiyose no Jutsu!

_**(And he summoned…)**_

**Gintoki:** Pakkun and the other hound dogs! … No… That's…

_**(He just summoned Rudolf the red nose reindeer and the 101 dalmatians)**_

**Shinpachi:** OI! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!

**Santa Claus:** GO! MY DEAR SERVANTS! AND DIE FOR MY SAKE!

**Shinpachi:** YOU ARE THE WORST SANTA CLAUS I'VE EVER SEEN!

**Gintoki:** Where's Naruto? I wanna see his Kagebunshin and Rasengan!

**Fred:** Our hero is here!

**Gintoki:** Naru…..EHHHH! WHO THE HELL IS THAT!?

_**(The Terminator has arrived!)**_

**Gin/Shin:** WHY?!

**Gintoki:** WHAT HAPPENED TO NARUTO-KUN! BRING HIM BACK! I DON'T NEED ARNOLD SCHWA…S…SH…SHI…EI… ARRRGGGG! WHATEVER **"GER"** HE IS!

**Terminator:** _**(robot style of talking)**_ I – HAVE- RETURNED!

**Shinpachi:** DON'T INTERUPT IN THIS FANFIC! YOU DUMMY ROBOT! GO BACK TO YOUR OWN MOVIE!

**Terminator:** I – AM – NARUTOW. UH – SOW – MAH – KEY – NA – RU – TOW!

**Gintoki:** YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE A 15 YEAR OLD SHINOBI!

**Shinpachi:** Seriously! What's happening to this series!

**Gintoki**: _**(imitating Terminator's robot style of talking)**_ THIS – IS – NOT - A – TER- MI – NA – TOR – MO – VIE. CO – NNOR – IS – NOT – HERE!

**Kagura:** YOU'RE NOT NARUTO! YOU'RE JUST AN OLD GUY WHO'S COSPLAYING MADAO!

_**(Since Terminator-san is wearing sunglasses like Madao-san)**_

**Terminator:** CO – NNOR! STOP – THIS – ALREADY!

**Shinpachi:** EHH? CONNOR? CONNOR IS HERE?

_**(The guy who's standing on Tinkerbell's head suddenly spoke.)**_

**Connor:** YOU CAN'T FORCE ME TO STOP! NARUTOW!

**Gintoki:** YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OBITO!

**Terminator:** THEN, I – WILL – USE – MY – SPE – CIAL - TECH – NIQUE!

**Gintoki:** THE RASENGAN!

**Terminator:** THE **MACHINE GAN**!

_**(The Terminator pulled out a machine gun and started firing at Connor)**_

**Gintoki:** OI! IT'S "GUN" NOT "GAN". AND IT'S NOT SPECIAL AT ALL! NOT EVEN A TECHNIQUE!

**Shinpachi:** THIS IS BECOMING A DIFFERENT ANIME!

**Connor:** What are we going to do? (_**looking at his companion. A red-eyed shinobi with heavy armory)**_

**Shinpachi:** Gin-san! That's Madara!

**Gintoki**: AH! DON'T LOOK AT HIS EYES! HE'S GOT PAIR OF SHARINGAN!

**Connor:** YOU CAN'T WIN AGAINST US! RIGHT, FU*K YOU!

**Kagura:** WHO YOU CALLING FU*K YOU? YOU # $# $# !

**FU*K YOU:** THAT'S MY NAME! DAMMIT! Connor, don't go telling my name to them! It's really a pain!

**Gintoki:** THAT'S JUST A BULLSH** NAME!

**Santa Claus:** YOU CAN'T WIN AGAINST OUR NUMBER! OUR BONDS ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR DEMON!

**Shinpachi:** Said by someone who let his pet dogs and reindeer die for his sake!

**Terminator:** THIS – IS – OUR – U – NI - TED – PO – WER!

**Gintoki:** YOU JUST KEPT ON TALKING!

**Connor:** We'll see then. RELEASE YOUR POWER, TINKERBELL!

_**(Tinkerbell opened its mouth, trying to release it's jutsu. A dark power was formed and it multiplied. Then shoot it to its enemies)**_

****SPLASSASSHHSHHHH….**

****PUUUURCCCHHHHHH….**

_**(Millions of POOPS have been released! The Tinkerbell started spitting POOP to the shinobis!**_

**Cinderella:** IT'S THE DARK MATTER!

**Gintoki:** WHAT KIND OF DARK MATTER IS THIS! IT'S A WET MATTER! AND WHY DOES IT COMES FROM ITS MOUTH!?

**Cinderella:** It's not the mouth! It's the butt!

**Gintoki:** SO IT'S NOT LOOKING AT US IN THE FIRST PLACE! IT JUST WANTED TO TAKE A POOP BREAK!

**Shinpachi:** WHAT'S A POOP BREAK!?

**Fred:** No, it's looking at us! See, its eyes are looking at us!

_**(The Tinkerbell's eye is above its Butt. So it looks like a normal face. A normal monster face, I mean.)**_

**Gintoki:** WHAT'S WITH THAT POORLY DEVELOP FACE!

**Kagura:** It's the GREATEST POOP POWER I'VE EVER SEEN!

**Shinpachi:** OI! STOP SPILLING POOP! GO TO THE C.R.!

(_**A long haired shinobi with white eyes was hit in the face (by the poop). A girl with almost the same feature (except for the boobs) came running towards him)**_

**Terminator:** NE – JI!

**Girl:** Neji-niisan!

_**(Terminator held Neji in his hand.)**_

**Terminator:** CALL - THE – ME – DI - CAL – TEAM!

**Neji:** No, I'm already….

**Terminator:** O-KAY!

**Shinpachi:** OI! THAT WAS VERY FAST!

**Neji:** Term, Y..Your… life… is not… only one… My… life… was… one of… yours…

**Terminator:** I – KNOW. THANK – YOU – FOR – DIE – ING – FOR – MY - SAKE!

**Shinpachi:** WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU!

_**(Neji died)**_

**Girl:** NII-SAAAANNN!

**Shinpachi:** Neji-san! WHY!? YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THE ORIGINAL NAME HERE, BUT YOU DIED FIRST BECAUSE OF THE POOP!

**Kagura:** So, This is how Neji died. I haven't seen the latest chapter yet!

**Shinpachi:** NO, THAT'S NOT IT!

**Connor:** ONE MORE TIME TINKERBELL! LET'S COVER THIS PLACE WITH BLOOD!

**Shinpachi;** YOU JUST WANT TO COVER IT WITH POOP!

**Gintoki:** Kagura! Write something on the DEATHNOTE! You have it, don't you? Let's get out of this place!

**Kagura:** YOSH!

_**(Scribble scribble)**_

**DIE TERMINATOR NARUTOW!**

**Shinpachi:** OI! THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WRITE! THIS IS NOT DEATHNOTE! AND WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL THE MAIN CHARACTER!?

**Terminator:** _**(felt a deep pain in his heart)**_ A - A - CCCKKKK… I - AM - CURSED…

**Shinpachi:** STOP FAKING IT! YOU FAKE NARUTO!

_**(Shinpachi wrote an anime title on the deathnote)**_

**Shinpachi:** I hope this one's normal.

_**(And the trio disappeared again together with the golden light.)**_

**Girl:**_** (Sulking) **_So, No one's gonna ask about my name…(_**sob)**_

* * *

><p><strong>P.S. CORNER<strong>

**Hijikata:** Huh, So we're at the P.S. Corner. By the way, what's with this corner?

**Sougo:** The author said that this is where we can say shitty things about the main cast of this fanfic.

_**(I NEVER SAID THAT, SOUGO-KUN!)**_

**Kondo:** I see. Then, I just want to say this. WE NEED MORE SCREENTIME! YOU BASTARDS FROM YOROZOYA! WE DIDN'T APPEAR IN THE LAST 2 CHAPTERS AND NOW, WE WERE JUST DUMP IN THE P.S. CORNER! I WANNA SEE TERMINATOR-SAN, TOO!

**Hijikata:** Kondo-san, for the first time, I agree with you!

**Sougo:** Author-san, can I kill Hijikata-san in this corner?

**Author:** Please. Not yet.

**Hijikata:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "NOT YET"? THEN WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO IN THIS CORNER?

…

…

…

**Kondo**: OI! TIME'S UP!

**Sougo:** Everyone, please give your reviews after this or else, you'll be killed by this bastard. _**(pointing at Hijikata)**_

**Hijikata:** Hoi, Sougo, Who you calling Bastard, huh?

_**(Pointing his sword to Okita)**_

**Okita:** You're the only BASTARD IN THIS CORNER, HIJIKATA-SAN.

_**(Pointing his bazooka to Hijikata)**_

**Author:** OI, ENOUGH! I KNOW YOUR MODUS! DON'T TRY TO PROLONG YOUR CONVERSATION JUST TO HAVE MORE SCREENTIME! JEEZ! _**(switch to normal mode**_) Well readers-sama. Please watch out for the next chapter. Oh, like what I said in the Intro, there will be an omake after this chapter, so please stay tuned. Akemashite Omedetto Gozaimasu! Enjoy the rest of the New Year!

**Kondo/Hiji/Sougo:** YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S TRYING TO PROLONG YOUR SCREENTIME!

**Author:** fufufufu.. _**(Imitating Terminator)**_ SIGH – NING – OFF!


End file.
